Spiritual Guidance and Spiritual Healing thru Lessons of Love.

Suicide is Selfish

Learner:   You tell us all these neat things about where you are at, what you can do, and all. How do you know some people are not going to want to hurry things up to get there to that side?

Spirit:   If they did that, they would lower their vibrations. A suicide to be Home sooner can cause you to regress spiritually. I am not judging suicides. I am stating a probability based on many situations. A suicide to be here may sound harmless at first, but where is the Love? Because your Life Plan may have been arranged to allow time for you to give the Love of God to one more person before you come Home.

When you choose suicide because you are anxious to come Home, who are you putting first? You are loving yourself before your brother. You must love both yourself and your brother. Your brother’s needs have to matter to you enough to stay in a painful, uncomfortable physical life awhile longer until your Life Plan is lived out because doing that will bless your brother. There is a reason that you and your advisors decided on a certain length of life for your present incarnation. You need to trust that Wisdom.

Spirit:   If you were to commit suicide, none of your Guides or anyone on this side would be mad, angry, none would choose not speak to you. We would be very sad, but that is not the point. There are many more important things that we want you to think about in relation to suicide. When you return Home that way, it is you that suffers the guilt when you see the damage that you have caused.

Sometimes it is easy to think, "Well, this will not bother anybody. Everyone else will get over it. What do they care? They'll just think something happened to me, I snapped and did it." Now, you asked one time before about suicide, and we said it all depends on the circumstances and everything that causes it. But that is not saying that the person that does it does not suffer. There are many times it could seem to be justified on the Earthplane. Everyone there might agree with it. The person doing it might feel very justified.

I know how that can be, because I tried it and failed in several lives. And I succeeded in a few. You know about some of these times, but not all of them, but I do not want to go into all of that right now. I just need you to trust me when I tell you that I understand totally that it can seem to the person like suicide is the best answer. Many of your Guides and Masters have personal experience with this, too, and understand this aspect completely. So let’s agree that on Earth it sometimes seems like there are valid reasons to choose suicide.

But when the person arrives here and realizes the hurt and problems they caused, that is where the problems begin. No, no one will be mad at them. But they will see the mistake in what they have done. If they intended to hurt people and cause problems, then that intention is another piece of the chaos they have caused that they will have to deal with and work through. They are the ones who will have to go to suffer the pain of guilt over it.

Let’s use you for our example, since you are here with us requesting this lesson. Let’s say you think, "Hey. I am over fifty years old. I have lived half of my life at least, a lot of my life. My children are grown up, all married and off somewhere. My mother's not even there any more. They'll get over it, just like if I would have a heart attack and die today. They'll get over it in a few weeks, and they'll think, well, Dad must have had his reasons."

So you have come Home, and you intend to greet everyone and spend time with them. Remember your soulmate? Remember that in her last incarnation she died at 19 years old eight days after giving birth, having a new baby? She didn't want to die. She had a new baby. You have to come and face her. She'll be loving and kind to you. But can you really face her? A girl who wanted life so badly at that time, at that precious age? No. You will not be able to face her very long. It is not her that will turn from you. It is you. You will be ashamed and will not be able to face her.

You have got a young friend here now who died at 13. She tried so hard to stay in her body on Earth, despite a lot of pain and problems that doing so caused her. She had medical problems practically from the day she was born. And she wanted to live more than anyone. At thirteen, she did not want to think about dying. That is why she had operations and flew to hospitals in other parts of the country. She wanted to live and grow up. You might end up feeling very guilt-ridden.   Could you face her ? Could you look at a girl at that age who wanted to live so bad that she put up with so much pain and sickness and still couldn't live when you could have lived and refused because you couldn’t endure your problems?   That would hinder you here for quite awhile. It would interfere with all your hopes and plans here, all the great things you were going to do soon after you came Home.

Now back on Earth you have two children who like their dad, who wanted a dad, who think they'll have a dad till his old age; a dad they can count on to talk to and see, and a dad that they'll be proud of around their children, a doting grandparent, a Papa. Maybe you think, "Well, it wouldn't matter to my grandchildren. They're too young to even know or realize any of that. It wouldn't hurt them at all." Think about when they're ten or eleven or twelve years old, and they have friends and they go to school and they see the kids with their grandparents, their Nana and Papa, and they talk about them. They go to their friends’ houses and see their grandparents there with them, giving them Love. On Christmas their friends get many presents from Nana and Papa.

Think when they say to their mom and dad, "How come I do not have a Papa? Or a Nana?" We are using you for our example, so let’s say they ask: "How come I do not have a grandfather? A lot of the other kids do yet. They're even older than me, but they have a grandfather. Where is my Grandpop? How come I never had one?" It can affect them years from now. Maybe now they wouldn't know for awhile, but how about when they reach the age of realizing? When they became a certain age, they would question. Someone would have to tell them what happened to Papa. "He chickened out. You didn’t matter enough to him. He gave up and died on you before he had to." They would have to process all of that as they try to face their own challenges in life. So yes, it would affect your grandchildren.

That new granddaughter and those grandsons may not realize right now the extent of the Love you can give them. They will just know someday that they do not have a Papa. But you will realize it when you come Home. You will realize the Love you denied them, and that will hurt you and incapacitate you.

How about any other family members that care? How about your sister? Except for her daughter, you are all the family she has. She doesn't associate with her other family members, so you are the only one able to offer her that kind of familial love. You are the only family member she communicates with. It would affect her. Maybe you'd think, "Well, she is old enough. She can go about her business." It would affect her, and she would have to suffer great pain and loss that resulted from your action.

Think how it would affect your spouse. Your suicide will have taken away from her some of the finer years of your life together. You have put her into an empty shell. Think about the embarrassment that you would cause her when someone knows about it and thinks, "Something was wrong with him. Probably from living with her. What did she do to him to make him want out that bad?" But not only that, it leaves her alone and wondering why you did it, why you couldn't stand life with her, why you were that selfish.

Suicide is, first of all, selfish. I do not say that in anger or in any kind of judgment. I say it as someone who not only tried it in several lives and failed, but who committed suicide more than once and has suffered all that I have described to you, and finally recovered to where I could return to higher planes and begin to grow again. It is even painful for me now to talk to you about this, because I remember that I caused so many people on Earth so much pain. And I remember the pain I many souls here at Home, and the agony that I caused myself to have to endure. It is still painful to talk about, but it is very important to me to give you this lesson, so let’s continue. Yes, suicide is an incredibly selfish act.

Your mother was sick. She was getting older, and she was very sick. If she would have done it during the last couple of months, you might even have understood from your limited vantage point there on Earth.   But she didn’t. She tried to stay alive as long as she could. She put up with the pain and the discomfort and the fear. Now how are you going to face her once you arrive here because of suicide?

Your children wouldn’t understand. To your children you are a fairly young man. You are not bedridden or helpless. You can keep up with them in a lot of their activities, and you have shown that. They do not think of you as old at all, and you would be taking a lot away from them. Also, anyone that has known you and really liked you would feel pain for awhile when they heard about it. Think of the sudden shocking stab of pain and confusion and maybe even anger that they will feel because they like you. It would hurt your friends.

So there are many many lives that you will disrupt unnecessarily and many many souls that you will hurt, both on Earth and here on this side by your suicide. When you come here you will realize that and you will suffer for it. You will not be able to get away from the pain and suffering you have on Earth that you are trying to escape. Please trust me again when I say that in addition, you will have to suffer terribly from the pain of your actions.

Do not forget your miscarried daughter. You can assume that you will not see her for quite awhile after your return Home, because you will be wallowing in the darkness and heavy vibrations of your own guilt and doubts and recriminations and unhappiness. You would be taking something huge away from your daughter. The body she planned to use was not able to develop enough to allow her that opportunity. How are you going to explain that your body was working fine on Earth and yet you decided to destroy it before you had completed your lessons on Earth?

You would be taking yourself away from us all for a long time, maybe. So the problems involved with suicide are not really about killing your body on Earth. That is the easy part, actually – to snuff your body’s life out in one minute. It is the pain that you will cause yourself and everyone who loves you, both here and there, that is the cause of the agony associated with suicide.

So my advice to anyone that considers suicide is to first really think deeply. Take every person you know on Earth and all the souls here that it will affect. Think about how it will affect them someday, sometime. Think about a member of the family, maybe a child. Think if just two or three of his family members end their life while he is a child; think when he grows up, the loneliness that he will feel. You can cause people to have to live terribly lonely lives because of your selfishness or anger.

Like I say, at times during life on Earth there can seem to be plenty of reasons for suicide. In Earthplane’s terms, these are justified reasons, pretty good reasons. I thought so too, when I was on Earth. But as soon as you step over to this side with it, that reason will be so small. It will look so small and miniature to you that you will regret immediately that you did it.

You will regret the hurt and the sadness and the devastating loss someone has suffered because of this – both here and there. Again, speaking from experience, I need to insist that even when you are so angry and hurt that that is exactly what you think you want to cause someone who has hurt you, once you get here, you will realize and regret what you have done. You will regret it with all of your being, but it will be too late to do anything but go through the agony that seeing what you have done will cause you. It will be something you will regret with every part of your heart and soul. Believe me, I know. I know what I am telling you. You can trust my words. I have said this, and it is so. That is all I wanted to say.