Spiritual Guidance and Spiritual Healing thru Lessons of Love.

Healing Relationships

Spirit: Death of the body does not end the opportunities of the sincere Learner to heal the relationship, if they can. Now, I am already ahead of you. You are going to tell me this is a two-way street. I totally agree. Even here, souls are never forced to love. That is not the point of his exercise, though. What I want everyone in class to understand is that, regardless of how the soul on the other side responds – or even whether or not they do respond – there is still healing available to the one left in the physical world if they will make the effort to communicate to the one who has come Home their distraught feelings – along with their love, or their desire to love, their wish that they could have felt love.

Obviously…. Obviously, it is better for everyone if healing can be effected while both are on the physical plane, because that affords both the opportunity to move forward in understanding, perhaps in tolerance, perhaps in patience, almost always in forgiveness. It gives additional opportunities to grow. But this is simply not always possible. You can go up to a bathtub full of ice ten times a day, put your arms across it and tell it how very very much you wish it was a warm, soothing Jacuzzi bath…. But if it insists on retaining the ice and not allowing the Jacuzzi to be installed within its perimeters, you are probably just never going to be able to experience that Jacuzzi with that particular bathtub. So yes, it does take the effort of both parties to heal serious lesions or to establish a warm relationship in the first place. There may not be lesions, there may be no rift. There just may be no ability to exchange and share love in a relationship that could and should provide that ability to both or to all members involved.

Your obligation is to love. If the person is what to you seems unlovable, check to see if you don’t, perhaps, mean un-live-with-able or un-grow-with-able. Don’t immediately assume that it is the other person’s fault, though. Do your soul work. Meditate. Ask the hard questions. See if there is anything – anything – that you could or should do that could result in a viable, energy-flowing, growing, relationship exchanging Love and Light. If you study the situation and conclude that there is not, you can still love. Remember our lesson about unconditional love and sending Light to Osama bin Laden? This you can do. You have no excuse not to send Light to others within your circle of Life, even, or maybe especially, those with whom you can not establish a relationship while on Earth.

You can love them by sending them Light. You do not have to pray, "Lord, make that old geezer stop hassling me and be nice just for once in his life!" That kind of prayer will lower your own vibrations. All you have to do is, within your meditation and prayer time, picture the face of the geezer until you can see him well and then send him Light until he is so ensconced in Light that you can no longer see him at all, can no longer see anything except the Light. If you do this with a sincere heart, you have loved the geezer that to you remains totally unlovable or who you know considers you totally unlovable.

God does not expect you to melt the ice, drain the water, install the Jacuzzi, fill it with warm water, and get it running properly. That is the bathtub’s issue, not yours. But God will never accept your complaint that you could not possibly send that bathtub Light because it is so cold and unresponsive. If you are able to love, then God expects you to do it, whether others respond or not.

Learner: So, are you saying that sometimes when we keep reaching out and reaching out and get absolutely no response, it is okay for us to stop reaching out – as long as we don’t become nasty about it, and as long as we do send Light to the one who never responds when we write to them or call them or invite them over or whatever the situation may be?

Spirit: Yes, that is what I am saying – but that "as long as" is a serious one. As I said about the bathtub, you cannot force others to respond, and after you have made repeated and sincere efforts to establish a connection, or to reconnect, or to heal a broken connection, and have received silence as a response, you are sometimes interfering with your own spiritual growth if you don’t stop, because if you have made genuine effort to establish a loving relationship with someone who repeatedly does not respond, you may begin to feel resentful, angrier than you should be, more self-pitying than you should be.

It is far better to simply recognize that, for whatever reason, probably for a reason you do not know, this other soul cannot respond to your offer of love. If your offer is sincere, then that is all you can do EXCEPT send Light. That you cannot avoid doing if you do not want your own growth to be harmed by the one-sided effort at a relationship. You know love, you are learning love, you are living love. Therefore, you cannot pretend that you do not know how to love just because someone else is not returning your love. You are obligated to send that Light, which of course, is sending Love, and to send it with a heart that bears no anger, no malice, no desire for revenge.

You know, this is the way God loves you. We tell you that God loves all souls, and that He loves you no matter what you do. Do you believe this? Then, if you are honest with yourself, you probably also know that there have been times in your life when God was reaching out to you to establish a better connection, if you will, or just to assure you that you are loved and lovable, and you have been the bathtub. You have basically ignored His reaching out. You are guaranteed your Free Will by God, so He is obviously the last one who is going to breach that promise.

That means that if you continually reject him, he will stop reaching out in such an aggressive manner, you might say, and retreat to sending you Light and Love and waiting . If you want the relationship with Him, you will then turn to Him, or turn back to Him. He is there loving you and sending you Light and Love through your Guides and Angels. He has not left you or abandoned you, and he does not want you to abandon those you love, either. But he recognizes that their free will may mean that they are rejecting you. You are expected to do with them the same as He does with you: Continue loving them and sending them Light. Continue loving yourself by "letting them alone" and refusing to feel guilty because you are unable to make a Jacuzzi out of a bathtub full of ice. Love the ice and send the Light, and move on to find bathtubs with fully operational Jacuzzis just waiting for you to step in.

Learner: But what if you CAN’T heal the relationship right now? I mean, sometimes you simply cannot.

Spirit: That’s right,. And the procedure I gave you above is the one I want you to begin right now, while you are both on the Earthplane.

Learner: You mean about sending Light? Like to bin Laden?

Spirit: Yes, that is what I mean. The only difference is where the other soul that we will call the unfriendly one is fully expressing right now – whether it is on the Earthplane or here at Home.

I am not teaching for you to just "write off" the unfriendly one. You love them and they love you, in most cases. Perhaps the relationship can and will be healed. But if you cannot do anything more right now, if you have meditated about this, prayed about this with a humble attitude, without anger, and your intuitive guidance tells you there is nothing more you can do at this time, then for all practical purposes, that soul is the same as dead to you. So what is the difference whether they still live on Earth or are Home?

You are expected to send Light, which is always Love, to the person and to the situation, and to yourself if you notice any pain existing within yourself when you "hone in" on that person or that subject during your meditation and prayer. And, whether the soul is still on Earth or has returned Home, you are expected to be open to the re-establishment of a mutually beneficial, productive, loving relationship. But you are not expected to be God. You are not expected to interfere with another’s Free Will and right to refuse to Love or refuse to make amendments.

You are not expected, as an extreme example, to live with and believe every word of and support a drug addict merely because you love her. If it assaults your belief system, you are not expected to go hunting with someone you have loved because they threaten to end your friendship unless you do. Who is right in this situation is not my point in this particular instance. My point is that you must be true to yourself, honor your own heart, your own beliefs. You cannot maintain relationships that go against that, because then the relationship is not honest and pure. In such cases, better you should end the friendship and continue to send Light/Love to the person, and they do the same for you. You are not expected to maintain an open relationship with a pedophile merely because you love him.

When your heart is focused on love, when you fill your soul with love and attempt to share that, when your whole plan for living is to learn to love more and better, you are not then expected to be who you are not, to love what you cannot, or to call relationships friendships or marriages or whatever if they are not. But you are expected, in all of these cases and all the multitude of other examples I am sure you can all think of, to seek healing not only for yourself but for the other, "unfriendly one," to continue to send Light/Love, and prayers, and to be open to the reestablishment of an improved relationship whenever it is possible.

Learner: Okay, but let me ask you this. You know how you said that no one we don’t like or even if we do like or love them, if we’re having issues with them, they won’t meet us there when we die, right? Does that include these kinds of relationships?

Spirit: Yes, of course. But now, I did not say you will never have to meet them.. I said, or someone did, that, in essence, when your body on Earth ceases to function and your soul returns Home, those people will not be in your welcoming party.

But you absolutely will have to meet these people face to face and deal with the issues, yes. That doesn’t mean it will be "fight time" and it doesn’t mean either you or the other person will be treated what you might call "meanly." But it is vital that both parties understand what happened. Both must learn – either while on the Earthplane, or here, soon after the last one returns Home – why Love could not grow between them…. What happened, why it happened, whether or not anything could be done to have changed things, and if it could have, when that could have taken place and how it could have been begun and by who.

Usually, what initially looks like a disagreement between two people actually evolves into a classroom of souls in need of teaching and what I’ll call "group therapy," about the issue, because usually more than two souls are involved in various ways. This is another example of how you are loved here. It may not seem like it. It may seem like the last thing you would want to do after you arrive Home, but think about it a little more. What good will it do anyone involved in the situation if all of the souls are permitted to return to Earth without being given extra teaching and further chance to explore and understand what happened and how and why they missed an opportunity to love. This would not be loving at all. Instead, what cannot be learned on Earth is taught again here, but ultimately some of the souls involved in failed relationships must return to another life and face similar situation to try again to live what they have learned.